When I was in my teens, I used to write not only in my journal, but also poems. I've kept these poems over the years and occasionally read them. It's been a while since I've looked at them. Today I pulled them out and read some of my writings. One poem hit me. Written over 25 years ago, but so much more meaning now. I'm not sure who I was writing this about then, but I know who it's talking about now. I want to share some of them with you.
Once More:
Sing once more
Oh please try
I know that you can't see
Your eyes are tired.
Laugh once more
Please, for me
I know your voice is going
Your getting older.
Live once more
Try, for me
I know that you are dying
But I love you.
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My Greatest Fear (written September 12 , 1979..yeah I dated it..what can I say..I'm weird)
Why am I so afraid
Maybe I'll never know
I know why I'm so afraid
I'm afraid of you letting go
I'm afraid of letting you go
Because I care so much
You'll probably never know
Just how much
I'm afriad of never being
with you again
Having you to talk to
and just being my friend
I'm afriad of riding a rollercoaster
But more afraid to lose you
I'm afraid of being a failure
I can never use you.
I'm so afraid, it burns in my heart
the fear of losing you because you still don't know
how much I need you.
I'm afraid you'll never know
Just how much I love you.
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Help Me
It makes me sad
and I'm so weary
of being told what I am
and what I should be.
I know I have faults
and I'm not the best
but I wish you'd let
me just be me.
Can't you accept me
the way I am
and help me instead
of criticize.
I need your help
and I need your love
so that I may be
the best I can.
Please listen to my plead
It's all I ask,
I hope it's not too much,
and in return,
I will give the best of what I can.
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Just so you don't think I was absolutely pathetic and depressed a lot in my teens, I wrote a few others.
This one is for Drina. We've been best friends and sisters since we were children.
My Friend
Why is she my friend? You ask.
I don't know.
She's nuts like me and I like her so.
I can confide in her as she can with me
We've gone through many things together
She's like the sea.
To me she's my friend and sister
and that's the way it should be.
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Okay...so I'll never win a Pulitzer prize for my writing...but that's okay by me.
1 comment:
Thanks all for your gracious comments...I find writing very therapeutic. I'm not a very good verbal communicator. I've been so used to pushing how I feel, what I think so deep inside and then it spurts up when I least expect it and when I'm not prepared to deal with it. Writing it out let's me deal with it..to a certain extent. Linda your comment about writing a letter to someone and letting it all out is what all therapists suggest. Write a letter to someone who hurt you allows you to deal with the pain and release the hurt. I have a few letters to write.
Thank you for your comments and understanding that poetry/writing is about letting yourself express what you are feeling.
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