Phone messages

Phone messages: "This is so and so from so and so office re a patient" (and they proceed to give me the patient's whole bleeping history which is already on the referral form)...and the bottom line is...."to confirm their appointment".

I've been told many times how people dislike my long office message. Some bypass it and leave me a frustrated message asking me the question that is already answered on my message. "Well where exactly is your office?" Did you listen to the message on the voice mail? "Well it's too long." Yes it is...imagine having to give out that information 50 times a day (and you can't flippin hear it once?????). So I tell them to please call back and actually listen to it because I don't have the time to repeat it. (I know the answer to their question is on their because I've written out the message and recorded it many times).

Then there are the myriad of people who say thank you for my message. It's so clear, its informative and "I knew exactly where I needed to go".

I get hang ups too...sighs, frustration, hrmmphs and even a few swear words. People who have not got a clue why they are calling me but are hoping that I am that I have a crystal ball which will answer every question under the sun.

People PLEASE...I beg you...when you call your doctor's office (or anyone's office for that matter), know exactly what you are going to ask. Write it out...practice it if you have to. Don't waste people's time. Also, if you have never listened to their voice mail, listen to it. Yes it's probably very long, and yes it's frustrating to have to wait or press this number and that number to get to what you are wanting to know...but imagine having to answer that question so many times. I promise you the secretary is not sitting at her desk praying that somebody will call her because SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO. I do the billing, I transcribe the medical notes (usually 4-5 pages long), I book the appointments, I fax, I copy, I file, I return my bosses emails, type manuscripts, order supplies, etc...........I don't have enough hours in the day to do my work and believe me I multitask...so because you didn't want to listen to the message (incidentally, if it has voice mail, you can press the number 3 to fast forward the message and the number 1 to rewind it if you need to hear that part of the message again).

Leave a brief detailed message after the beep and don't ask me to call you back if the answer is on my voice mail.

Your friendly medical clinic assistant who works for four specialists and a number of research people and who just does not have the time to listen to your long winded voice figure out what you are calling me about...and no I don't want to hear about all your aches and pain...I don't get paid enough.

Whatever!!